I’ve been trying desperately to relax and unwind from a very busy holiday season. This is my son’s 3rd day back to school since Christmas, the house is a mess, I’m behind on chores, I don’t have meals made for my son’s gluten free, restricted egg and dairy diet, I have more work to do than energy…
I could really use the extra cash from working from home, but home is enough work of its own at the moment. I really hate having to turn down a few extra bucks!
So I’ve been staying up late for a little me time, maybe remove the unsightly hair from my chin and a quick home facial after midnight… Hair and makeup? Who has time for that? I’m lucky if I don’t look like a bearded homeless lady!
Thank God for DVR because prime time is NOT MY TIME! So I’ve been catching up on re-runs of Shameless.
I love that show- nothing like a little humor to take the sting out of a desperate situation. For those who don’t know the TV series, Shameless is about a family of six “kids” the oldest, Fiona, is about 19 and raising her 5 younger siblings. The father is an alcoholic and the mother is manic-depressive. Both parents are usually MIA.
Fiona is the family caretaker- if you watch the show you can’t help wanting Fiona to take a break once in awhile and live a little. She’s the busy “mommy” who always manages to balance the budget, and against all odds – make ends meet – sometimes “robbing Peter to pay Paul.”
Lip – short for Philip – the kid with un-used or under-used potential, Ian – the gay middle brother – anxious to enlist in the army,
Debbie the 11 year old little sister who will “be a woman soon”,
Carl the younger brother with behavioral problems,
and the youngest Liam the bi-racial baby boy still in diapers- who it turns out is in fact the biological child of his “white” Irish parents.
I find myself relating to the constant balancing act – always torn between the needs of each of my children (biological and “adopted” as my own)- and my own need for a little down time. I feel so guilty that the neediest child always gets the most attention at any given time. Yet I do what any parent would do – a triage of sorts – dealing with the most urgent issue – one day at a time, or one moment at a time – as warranted by the situation at hand. I can relate to wanting a “normal” life and yet finding fulfillment and contentment in the crazy life I do have.
I try my best to manage the social graces that are a part of a “normal” life for my kids. I’ll fight for my kids ALWAYS! I’ll do my best no matter what life brings. Though I may be torn by the constant demands of motherhood, I’ll be there for them and I’ll love them no matter what. I hope they each know how much I love them, and I wish I could do even more for them.
Between the two of us, “hubby” and I have 6 children. At one point we had 4 kids – 1 recovering from a traumatic brain injury, one having been abandoned by her mother, one dealing with family issues including what they called in the old days a “funny uncle” and my little guy with special needs living in a 2 bedroom apartment – a family of 6 living on a poverty level income for 2. We will make mistakes, as all parents do, but we’ll keep moving forward and reaching out to our kids – always trying to include them in our lives – despite the push and pull we get in return. They will each make their own decisions in life. They’ll grow to know and see the truth.
I make no apologies to those who would not or could not possibly understand. I don’t judge – nor do I worry about being judged by those who have not walked a mile in my shoes.